


Compassion

by metamorcy



Category: Tales of Xillia
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-04
Updated: 2013-09-04
Packaged: 2017-12-25 15:34:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/954797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/metamorcy/pseuds/metamorcy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alvin never realized how dependent he was on Jude when they shared the same bed, or how he sorely missed him when he wasn't there. For him, Jude had some strange ability to chase the nightmares away with his very presence. Fluff. Alvin/Jude</p>
            </blockquote>





	Compassion

**Author's Note:**

> Messed up slightly with the climes but whatever

It was a dark night, one that was absolutely silent as Alvin stared out the window of his room. He couldn't hear the usual screeching of insects or the barking dogs in the distance. The moon was high up in the night sky, surrounded by multiple stars which were blinking in the dark abyss. It was almost as if they were attempting to send out a message to all who watched. However, for Alvin, it was a night that he couldn't rest to no matter how much he tried. Well, it was actually that he didn't _want_ to sleep. He didn't want the nightmares of his past to bother him all night long, to see those faces he had betrayed, those he had killed, those he had…

Alvin shook his head, destroying his thoughts before they got too far and continued to look out the window. His coat was resting against the bed frame, his boots right underneath, and his gun was placed neatly on the nightstand. His broadsword was leaning against the other side of the bed, propped up with the handle facing him just in case. He never did like unpleasant surprises during the night. His eyebrows narrowed as he continued to stare, not focusing on anything as his mind continued to wander. Letting out a loud sigh, he leaned back against the wall of the ledge he had propped himself against and raised his head to stare at the ceiling. Within moments, he closed his eyes, trying to temporarily shut out the world, but it was a futile attempt.

His mind was already wandering back to his past, something he wanted under no circumstances. Before he could fall into his memories any further, he snapped his eyes snapped open and released another depressing sigh. He twisted where he sat and swung his legs over the side of the window sill, facing the bedroom. He could tell he was physically and mentally exhausted from today's traveling; his eyes were threatening to close on him if he didn't make it to bed soon. Tumbling over the ledge of his open window would not only be painful, but also embarrassing. Alvin glanced at his destination just a few feet away, looking over the plain details. It was a simple inn bed, nothing fancy at all.

Apparently, the group had been lucky today, they had received enough money from a monster that had been carrying a pouch of coins. The pouch had been caught on the horns attached to the forehead, alerting everyone that the monster had attacked someone earlier. Now, whether that person was still alive or dead, no one wanted to investigate. Still, they had put that money to good use at the next inn they found in order to get separate rooms for the night. It wasn't something they often got since their money was generally on a tight budget. Jude and Rowen had taken great care to calculate the costs for everything, making sure to give themselves enough for the rest of the week and a little extra a just in case. Of course, on such a budget, some things had to be sacrificed, but no one cared. They understood that some things just had to happen.

Before today, they'd had to share rooms. Each room would hold three beds and they would pack themselves into their respective areas to keep the peace. All three males would rest in their beds, but sometimes it was hard. Alvin could tell throughout the night that things were just awkward. but it made restlessness easier for him to cover, he couldn't sleep anyway. If anyone were to ask about his sleepy state, he would just complain about Rowen's snoring and Jude's constant tossing in bed.

Alvin stood up from his ledge at the window and made his way slowly towards the comfy-looking bed. His fingers were the first thing to touch the sheets and he rotated himself around to sit down onto the mattress. He could hear the squeaking of the springs as his weight pushed into it, but ignored it for the time being. Carefully, once he withdrew from the bed, he pulled off his gloves tossed them next to his gun on the nightstand. All he was left with were his pants, shirt, and scarf. However, the latter was taken off soon after and hung up against his coat to keep it straight. He hated wrinkles in his beloved scarf after all.

Taking a step to the side, Alvin ran his hand through his short brown hair and felt his thick locks rolling back with the motion. Though, the moment he let go, everything sprung back into place, even the long bang he kept at the side of his eyes. He peered down at the bed, knowing he needed to at least attempt to get some rest. He had another long day of traveling tomorrow and being sleepy the entire time wasn't going to benefit him at all, especially if they were to be attacked.

'Well, better get this done and over with.' Yanking the covers back, he slowly settled into the mattress, burying himself deeply underneath everything. The covers were pulled up to his shoulders and he shifted onto his side, trying to get comfortable as he buried his face into the soft pillow. He inhaled a deep breath of the clean linen and sighed heavily as he closed his eyes. He could already tell that tonight was going to be a long one.

He was all alone, left in the room by himself, and it was already late in the cool night. Alvin didn't need to wander about the area to know that everyone was already fast asleep, no one left awake but him. As he began to drift off into his first set of nightmares, his mind began to wander towards his dear mother.

* * *

His mind was a blank, everything was dark and for a moment, Alvin felt like he was suffocating from something. He knew it was a dream - it wasn't hard to tell when he had been in this same situation many times before. He didn't like it and he wanted nothing more than for it to stop, but he held no power over the course of his nightmares. Many times he would wake up not remembering anything that had happened and he was perfectly fine with that. He didn't want to remember all the terrible deeds he had done in the past.

As he wandered down the dark path, he suddenly felt a tug at his shoulder and then a voice calling out his name. Alvin blinked curiously and glanced down at his right shoulder, the one that had been pulled. 'What…' He tilted his head and just shrugged his shoulders, not thinking much on the whole thing. It was probably another part of his dream. As he continued to wander once more, images flashing through his eyes, he felt another tug. However, this time it was rough and more painful. He winced at the force, one eye closing and he glanced back down at his shoulder curiously. He expected it to be bleeding, probably shot or stabbed, but there was nothing.

" _Alvin, wake up_!"

Snapping his eyes open, Alvin shot up from bed in surprise and stared out before him at the wall on the opposite side. He suppressed a shiver that wanted to make its way down his spine, feeling cold all of a sudden. Sweat dripped down the side of his face and his breathing was ragged as he tried to take in his awakening. His hair stuck around the edges of his chin and it took him a few seconds to realize that he wasn't alone in his room. There was a warm hand on his shoulder, the same one that had been in pain earlier. Slowly, his eyes traveled from the hand to the arm and then to the face, staring at his intruder.

"Jude?"

There the ex-medical student stood at the edge of the bed, his face filled with concern as he examined the older man before him. Jude had obviously been asleep from the signs of his ruffled hair and wrinkled clothes. Carefully, he reached forward to place his other hand on Alvin's left shoulder, holding the brunet still. "You were having a nightmare. A horrible one by the looks of it."

Alvin blinked, surprised at seeing the black-haired teen beside him. His mind was processing everything slowly, trying to start itself to keep up with his situation. It didn't take much to figure out that Jude had been the one to tear him away from his nightmare, preventing him from diving further into that darkness. Immediately, he shifted his form, trying to throw the other off from his emotional breakdown. He did the only things he could think of: joke and laugh. "Haha, no, no. That was no nightmare. That was just me having a little bit of fun!" He knew it wasn't a solid lie, but he kept it up for the sake of appearance. Still, he smiled, trying to shake off his nightmare.

However, Jude didn't believe him. "You can't lie to me on this. I heard you from my room, which happens to be next door if you forgot. You were groaning and muttering some words under your breath. You're lucky that Leia was next door since she's a heavy sleeper." He pulled away from the adult and folded his arms, observing the brunet before him carefully.

The swordsmen almost flinched at being found out, and so easily too. There was no way he would be able to slip out of this tight spot. It wasn't as if he had any way out anyway after being awoken so brutally. He had undoubtedly caved himself in. He opened his mouth to change the subject, yet no sounds came out and his eyes eventually trailed to the side where his hands were bundled up. It was hard to look at those amber eyes that were staring at him so calculatingly. 'Damn, Jude can be scary when he wants to. And stubborn, too.'

As an uncomfortable silence fell over the two, Alvin raised a hand to run it through his hair, pushing his sweat-soaked bangs back. He glanced around the room, seeing the front door shut, and was glad about that. He didn't want anyone else seeing him in this position. His shirt was slightly drenched at the back from his sweat and he shivered slightly from the cool air that was breezing through his open window.

However, Jude was the first one to break that silence. He sighed heavily, closing his eyes as he peered down. "Fine, I won't intrude on your issues for your sake, but I will say that I am here if you need any help. I may be younger than you, but we _are_ on this journey together." The ex-medical student placed his hands against his sides and smiled lightly as he glanced down at the other.

Alvin didn't answer. He didn't trust his lips or words and simply remained silent. He looked away, feeling guilty about everything he had done to Jude and the rest of the group, but he quickly squashed it. He couldn't let his feelings get the better of him.

"Now scoot over."

"Eh?" Alvin snapped his head back towards the younger male in surprise, unable to cover that emotion. "What?" He blinked curiously, his mouth hanging open by an inch. Jude just stood over the bed and made a movement with his hands, demanding the other to move over.

"I said move over," With the strength he had gained over the course of this journey, Jude forcefully pushed Alvin aside towards the very edge of the bed. Within seconds, the teenager was crawling into bed, tossing the covers over the both of them. He rested his head on half of the pillow, staring at Alvin with a pout, knowing very well he had the older man's full attention. "Now go to sleep. We'll be waking up early in the morning."

For a moment, Alvin was tempted to slide out of bed to get away, but he resisted. Instead, he shifted closer, feeling the warmth of Jude's body and followed his companion's movements. He settled into the bed, feeling a little uncomfortable about the extra presence beside him. Still, he just stared, his mind trying to figure out what to say in this new found situation. With a smile, he found the perfect joke and Alvin gave a laugh. "If you wanted to sleep against me so badly, you should have said so earlier! I won't bite!"

Jude's cheeks turned a rosy red, muttering a light 'be quiet' under his breath.

"Don't worry, I'll keep all the predators away from poor little Jude."

There was no answer this time, just a grumble as Jude turned away from Alvin, facing the front entrance of the bedroom. This left the brunet staring at his companion's back and he silently sighed, unsure of what to do next. Mentally shaking his head, he shifted closer as he thanked Jude for not going into the subject. Closing his eyes, his body could constantly feel Jude's presence against him, enjoying the warmth of a body beside his own.

For once in a long time, Alvin didn't have a single nightmare for the rest of the night, sleeping in comfort. Instead, he actually had some peaceful dreams about the warm sun and the bright blue sky, of happy memories that no longer existed.

* * *

The following morning, neither of the two mentioned anything about the bed sharing and kept their mouths sealed on the subject. Not even Alvin wanted to say anything, keeping the incident as their little secret. He immediately brushed it off and went on with the day, not minding about the entire thing regardless of the revealing of his partly broken mask. Things continued on like how they had always been with the group laughing among each other, enjoying the friendship they shared. The next night they were back to being in two bedrooms with three beds, sleeping like usual.

Before long, four days had passed since the night greeting, the nightmares came back immediately and Alvin found himself wide awake on the fifth night, unable to fall asleep. He could already tell that tonight was going to be a long one and he was tempted to leave the room to just keep himself awake. He didn't want to fall asleep yet, not when his mind was racing with various thoughts. His dark eyes drifted towards the left where Rowen was fast asleep, his snoring quite clear in the silence, and finally went towards the right where Jude was resting. The boy was in a deep slumber, looking quite peaceful and relaxed compared to during the day when they were constantly fighting off monsters as they went from one town to another.

Alvin felt his lips twitching in amusement and sat up in bed, placing his head in-between his legs. The sheets curved around his body, gathering in the center where his legs were propped up underneath. He kept quiet, closing his eyes as he thought about things other than his memories.

"Al…vin?" A small voice came from his right, shooting his head up in start. The brunet snapped his caramel-colored eyes towards Jude, watching as the sleepy amber eyes blinked open. They fluttered, trying to stay awake before the black-haired teen rolled over onto his side to face Alvin. The two companions gazed at each other before Jude finally moved, sliding his feet over the side of the bed to sit up.

"Whoa there," Alvin kept his voice light, smiling like there was nothing wrong. "And where do you think you're going this late at night? Is nature calling for you? Or do you have a nightly meeting with one of the ladies?" He winked at the last sentence, giving a smirk.

"Shut… up…" Jude grumbled as he pushed himself up clumsily from his bed and staggered towards Alvin. His fingers grasped onto his pillow and tossed it over, nudging Alvin's away. He shoved the brunet aside gently before collapsing onto his side of the brunet's bed. His little movement forced Alvin to lie down, knowing he was being watched carefully. "Too tired… to talk…" Jude pulled the blankets up over his shoulders and buried his face into his pillow before immediately blacking out to the rest of the world.

Alvin could only start in shock, unable to comprehend the scene before him. For a moment, he felt his cheeks heating up gently before curling up like he had done so nights ago and sighed heavily. He hadn't expected Jude to wake up at his movements. He rolled around in bed to peer at Rowen, still able to hear that snoring, before twisting back, looking at Jude's side. He shifted forward and closed his eyes, welcoming the warmth the other brought with him. Just as he was about to drift off, Jude shifted slightly in bed and Alvin opened his eyes to see the teenager now facing him, completely asleep. The black-haired teen was coiled up in the blankets, out to the rest of the world like there was nothing wrong with it.

'Sometimes, I wish he didn't act like this. Makes me feel way too guilty about the things I've done to him and the things that will happen in the future…' Alvin closed his eyes and went still, already feeling himself drifting off. That night, he didn't have a single nightmare, sleeping through the entire night without any trouble. The only thing that woke him up was the rising of the sun as its bright rays slipped through the curtains.

Of course, Alvin couldn't help but be a little embarrassed that he was on his back and Jude was buried against his side as if he was some sort of pillow.

* * *

Days went on and the two found themselves sharing a bed more often than not. Generally, it was always Jude who moved first, slipping into Alvin's bed whenever he was awoken by the brunet's restlessness. However, after a few times, Alvin began to do the opposite. Instead of waiting for Jude to wake up, he would just slip into the covers on the other side, nudging the teenager aside. There were many occurrences where Jude never woke up, but neither minded. If Rowen saw anything, considering he sometimes woke up earlier than Alvin (Jude was generally the last one), he never said anything and went about his business.

It was a regular routine and if there were times when the inn only had two rooms with two beds each, they immediately opted to share with no issues. They didn't mind the extra presence of each other. Since then, Alvin never had another nightmare, sleeping in peace compared to before. There were only brief ones when Alvin decided to sleep alone, but they were much lighter and easier to deal with. However, once Alvin had betrayed the group, things got a little awkward with the sleeping arrangement. The first two to three nights, neither wanted to be close to the other, the tension too high to even try. It was difficult and it took a while before Jude finally went back over to sleep against Alvin. When Jude finally did, the brunet was instantly grateful, the nightmares being chased away by Jude's mere presence.

Things continued on like that, never changing until Milla's death. It was a horrible setting and for once Alvin hated himself for what he had done. He had been so desperate and had shot Leia without any hesitation. It was when he finally rejoined the final battle that he didn't know what to do. He wanted to be accepted because this time, he wanted to change but he was afraid that things might be a little too late. The group went to an inn in Rieze Maxia to tie up some loose ends and they had immediately gone towards the rooms for a good night's rest. Elize had tossed a few comments about him, but he ignored it all, not wanting to let them get to his head.

Slipping under the covers, he was the first one to head to bed. He didn't want to see the disapproving looks or the suspicious eyes towards him. He didn't want to see any of it, especially from Jude. Burying himself under the blankets, he fell fast asleep, hoping that morning would come quickly. However, some things weren't meant to be. That night, he had a horrible nightmare.

Water, he remembered water. Lots of it. It was a crushing feeling, one he'd hated for a long time, one that had tormented him for a long time. Alvin could feel the pressure compressing him, pushing him further underneath the waves. He could hear his mother's voice in the background, calling out for him, but he could do nothing. Alvin coughed as he felt the water entering his lungs, kicking wildly to keep himself above the rising water. He wanted to scream, cry out, but nothing came.

And then there was a loud smack on his shoulder that startled him awake. Alvin snapped his eyes open and instantly scooted back in shock, feeling a single tear running down the side of his cheek that he wiped away. His dark eyes snapped up towards the figure that had hit him and stared. "J-Jude?"

The teenager stared back curiously with concern, almost like he was unsure on what to do. Alvin didn't know what to say or do and did the only thing he could: he pulled the blankets tightly around him. It was like it was his only defense towards the rest of the world, and not a very good one either. He took a quick glance towards Rowen and recognized that the older man was awake but was turned away at the same time. It was as if to say that he didn't want to get involved with this little mess. Alvin didn't blame him after all he's done to the group. He really expected them to hate him for everything. With that thought in mind, he refused to look up at Jude, not wanting to see what was flashing through those amber eyes.

"It's been a while since you've had a nightmare," Jude's soft voice brought Alvin out of his hiding spot and he sat down beside the adult. The mattress creaked underneath his weight and carefully, Jude reached out to push Alvin aside on the bed. "I guess some things just can't change."

Alvin just watched, unsure what to do or say, but he peeked up to see Jude's smiling face. He instantly relaxed at the sight of it. Jude didn't hate him enough to no longer share beds anymore or to be afraid of doing so. He shuffled to the side, letting enough room for Jude to slip in with him before collapsing back into bed himself.

Jude made the first move this time, cuddling up against Alvin and burying his face into the brunet's chest. He didn't speak at first, neither of them did until Jude had enough of it. "So, what was your nightmare about?"

Alvin didn't answer and Jude didn't expect him to.

"You know, this is where you're supposed to laugh it off and say something funny to lighten up the tension."

This time, the brunet reacted. He let out a small chuckle. "Someone knows me a little too well."

"Of course, we've been traveling with each other for so many months already," Jude just smirked and pulled back momentarily to look into Alvin's eyes. "I don't know if this will make you feel better, but I don't hate you."

Almost instantly, Alvin froze at those words and stared ahead, almost as if in shock. He bit down on his bottom lip and peered away from those warm eyes. He couldn't bear it. It was entirely his fault after all. Within a few seconds, he had pulled Jude up on the bed and followed the teen's previous movements in burying his face into the boy's chest, wanting to hide away his face from everyone else. Hot tears began to form at the corner of his eyes, threatening to fall, but they never did. Alvin blinked them away.

Jude was a little shocked from the sudden change of position, but gave in, burying his face into the pillow. He went still as he wrapped his arms around Alvin's back and pulled him closer. His nose could smell the soft scent of vanilla and sweat from earlier that day, but he didn't mind it. It was actually quite nice.

"Jude…"

The teen had to strain himself to hear, the voice a mere whisper. "Hmm?"

"Don't leave me alone."

Jude froze at that, unsure what to say to that request.

"I don't…" There was a pause on Alvin's part, his voice difficult to make out since it was muffled. "-want to be alone anymore."

"I won't leave you. Now go to sleep, we have a long day tomorrow," The teen's fingers began to make their way through Alvin's hair, smoothing out the thick locks with each stroke. He shifted slightly and leaned down, pressing his lips against the top of Alvin's forehead. "See?"

"Thanks…"

Before long, Jude felt Alvin falling asleep, resting against him with a soft snore that could only belong to the adult. He sighed heavily, still running his fingers through the brown locks continuously. 'I really do believe some things just don't change and I hope they won't. Though, I'm glad to see that Alvin is trying to make a difference.'

"Is Alvin finally asleep?" Rowen's gruff voice broke through the silence, the older man rolling around in bed to face the duo. He said nothing about the anomalous position.

"Yeah, he's finally out. He most likely won't wake up until morning."

"I see," Rowen looked over the odd arrangement before shaking his head, turning away. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you are the only one that can actually control Alvin and convince him that some things don't have to be the way they are. And I'd think you're much closer than just friends."

"Huh?" Jude blinked in question, but he didn't receive any further details, Rowen falling asleep soon after. This simply left the teenager all on his own in the silence, everyone else fast asleep. As his mind continued to work, he silently chuckled, shaking his head at the accusation as he looked down at the brunet. For some odd reason, he didn't want to refute that. It was probably true after all… well, maybe. With that as his final thought, Jude soon fell asleep, wondering how tomorrow's battle would proceed.


End file.
